Scripts for Interview 5

T1: Hi Noella. I’m glad to see you today. Can you tell me a little bit about what you’re thinking when you’ve come in here?

A2: He’s as old as your Dad!

P3: He sounds like a friendly guy.

C4: Well, this is my first counseling session and I’m a little hesitant. I don’t really know what to expect.

T5: Your first counseling session ever?

C6: Ever…

T7: Oh, That must make you very anxious.

C8: It is. I’m nervous right now.

A9: He’s working on feelings already!

T10: Is there anything I can do to make that anxiety less?

C11: Umm…Well, maybe since you brought it up…because I’m a little curious because there is this age differential, the gender, the culture…

T12: That’s a lot of differences isn’t it.

C13: Yeah, it is!

P14: Great! He is concerned. She feels supported.

T15: I am concerned. That we find common ground to work together and that your level of anxiety will go down. That’s what my hope is.

C16: Yes as we’re talking it is. It is…

T17: Good…Good…

A18: You still don’t trust him.

T19: It’s hard to trust older males…so many differences…we can work on that.

P20: Great! He wants to work with you.

T21: So what kinds of problems are you working on besides being here talking with me?

C22: Well, my family always said not to go to the outside community and share so there’s that element. And also there that element in addition about moving three hours away, being 25 years old and also can’t get home and being from a very protective family and I’m having some difficulties with that…

P23: What’s so hard to share?

T24: So your family believes you should stay close to home and be a part of the larger family?

C25: Yeah…

T26: Serve your role? They did it, their parents did it, their great grandparents did it and now it’s your turn?

C27: Yeah…Right…

A28: Just be independent!

P29: Precisely!

T30: That makes it really hard for you because you’re getting a lot of pressure from peers to being dependent…a lot of pressure from your parents to stay traditional?

C31: Yeah…I’m getting torn in both directions.

T32: No matter what choice you make you’re going to get criticized.

A33: Is he talking for you?

C34: Right on! Exactly!

T35: That makes it really difficult.

C36: It is. That’s making me reconsider moving away.

T37: How can ..How can we find a win-win outcome for this? How can we find a way you can satisfy your family and still not get criticized by your peers?

C38: I don’t know. I really am at the end of my rope about it. I’ve been thinking about it, asking other people and I just don’t know what to do.

A39: A Isn’t he supposed to solve your problem?

P40: She’s relaxing. She’s opening up.

C41: Maybe you can help me give some insight.

T42 What have you tried so far? As you’ve thought about your problem you’ve probably come up with different ways of dealing with it. What are some of the ways you have already considered in dealing with the problem?

C43: Well, I’ve thought about getting a place you know in the other town and coming back on weekends, but that’s a 6 hour commute. It’s too much and I thought about taking that job, seeing what it’s like and maybe after a year come back…But this is a great opportunity that I don’t want to give it up.

A44: Tell her what she should do!

T45: Do you want me to tell you what you should do?

C46: Part of me does. Give me a solution you know so I can solve my problem.

T47: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was that easy?

C48: Yeah!

T49: No, it’s going to be difficult. It’s going to take some time to find out how we can…and maybe it’s going to mean living with some ambiguity on your part.

P50: But he wants to work with you.

A51: You don’t want that.

C52: Yeah, that’s a hard thing…

T53: But I do want to work with you.

A54: You don’t want any more difficulty!

P55: There’s no simple solution…

C56: Thanks for sort of putting that out there.

T57: There are no simple solutions to the problem that is as difficult and complicated as the one you are struggling with.

C58: Yeah…unfortunately

P59: Give her some encouragement.

T60: What can I do that would encourage you, that would make you feel more positive about counseling with this problem?

C61: I guess helping explore how my culture and gender is impacting my decision making process. If I am on the right track or not…

T62: Good. OK, lets start with culture and then move to gender. What are some ways? If your parents were sitting here right now, what would they say when you asked them or I asked them? Why do you want Noelle to stay? What would they tell us?

P63: Good…Great…

C64: They would say that you should uphold the family.

T65: OK. Two?

C66: That you’re not being the good daughter I raised you to be…

T67: And three?…

C68: I think selfish and making decisions for just myself and not for the family.

A69: He is going to take your parent’s side!

T70: They know this is a hard decision for you. They know how much frustration there is in your own mind. That should tell them that you are trying to be a good daughter.

C71: Right.

A72: He doesn’t understand

C73: I tried to communicate that. I hope so but I don’t think that they really understand.

T74: Your parents don’t want to hurt you. Right?

C75: No they don’t.

T76: Maybe that’s the direction we can try?